I’m no starry-eyed idealist and am sceptical about the state of our world and the mindset of humanity, it is a world where I don’t want my child to live in. I guess that’s the reason why I had not been ready for children, although I’m aware of my DH’s desire to have at least one child.
Partly because of my DH’s desire, I had agreed to let nature takes its course from Dec 2010 and to continue to practice birth control from the middle of April. I was hoping to avoid my child being born in the ultra competitive 2012 when the year of the dragon roars in!
Year of the Dragon will probably push up our fertility rates!
It was a surprise when I had realised I was pregnant particularly since we’ve already started practising birth control by then. It is a wonder how my yet-to-be born baby Zee is already exhibiting my characteristic of procrastination! Keke. He/she had barely met our deadline with an end of the year EDD. Talk about meeting deadlines!
Speaking about timing, it was only in reading brochures that I had realised why everyone had emphasized the importance of having a child earlier rather than later. The chances of a child born with Down’s Syndrome (DS) to a mother over the age of 40 is 1 in 68! (if I remember correctly) And for some reason, it is more difficult for older aged mothers to bring their children to term with risks of miscarriages and anomalies. Already, the statistics for my age group is double the risk of DS as compared to a mother-to-be (MTB) only 3 years younger. So to some extent, I am very thankful that God had given us a child before we had started practising birth control again. I couldn’t imagine the fear I’ll feel with the increased risks should I wait another 2 years.
Of course this doesn’t mean that all will definitely be well for the younger mother. Although the statistics is in favour of the younger mother, it doesn’t mean that the birth will be risk-free. Still, sometimes it is a comfort when the statistics is in your favour.
The uncertainty of all these, with so many factors beyond my control, drive me to prayer. Really, it can be daunting to understand how few factors are really within the mother’s control to bring the child to term. Lack of information at the point of conception either in the egg, sperm or when this information is transferred during the point of impact will lead to a future miscarriage, food poisoning (are we really in control of the source of our food and its hygenic preparation?) and sometimes just unknown factors can lead to the fetus’ heart to stop beating. And what of simply pure bad nature within the child that can lead to heartbreak of the parents sometime later down the road? It is sometimes really pure arrogance for a mere person to assume that he/she is the sole master of his/her fate.
But my trust is in Him and He who holds my future. It is prayers, as well as songs like these, that give me solace:
