15-17w: A sense of quickening

It’s interesting because most pregnancy books had stated that most new MTBs would not feel this until quite late in the pregnancy, but I’ve felt it from as early as 15 weeks!

I had not been sure earlier as I had wondered whether the sensation was of my bowels or tummy systems moving, but soon… at 15 weeks the feeling is unmistakable.

Rhythmic movements that paused after a while before starting again… sometimes it feels like butterflies fluttering at a specific area (for me, so far, it had always been on my left-lower abdomen)… sometimes it feels like a tiny drum beating rhythmically before it paused for a while and then restarting.

Most times, it would happen soon after I have a meal, must be a burst of energy to my dear little Zee!

Sometimes though, it seemed to be an indicator that my body is slowly depleting in necessary items.  Once, at the Asian Civilisation Museum, it was to signal a lack of air and not enough carbohydrates (I had taken a huge packet of bee hoon rather than my usual simple cup of oats.  It seemed like that huge packet of bee hoon had burned itself up in my system within 2 hours!)  Another time, it is to signal lack of food before going for a seminar even though I was following my usual meal times.

But always, always… it is an indication that my Zee is moving well and exercising in his/her private pool within the placenta!  Hee!

This sensation is a tactile expression of the same feeling I had felt in my heart when I had watched the “Reason for God” DVD by Timothy Keller, a feeling that I had been spiritually brought to life as I had listened to the life-giving words. 

A sense of Quickening

In discussion 3 “Why are there so many rules?” discussion, the group had consisted of 6 non-Christians questioning the Christian faith and Timothy Keller himself, a pastor from Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York.  They had talked about how Christians had been judgemental, hypocritical and wanted others to live up to standards that they themselves do not live up to and I thank God for Pastor Keller’s living words:

“Yes, it is sad that most Christians exhibit behaviours like that of self-righteousness which may be expressions of pride that Jesus Himself had frowned upon.  And yes, it is also true that those standards some of these Christians impose on others are also the true standards that God had called all Christians to live to. 

However, those standards, encapsulated in Moses’ 10 commandments are only part of the gospel.  The gospel had also shared that Jesus, God Himself had come to die so that we may be forgiven.  The gospel did not call us to live up to those standards by our strength, but to humbly present ourselves to Him and ask Him to give us the strength, and He will accept our prayers.”

“And that in itself should also be the death of our own self-righteousness…. there is no place for that when you place your own frail, weak self in front of Him and ask Him for help…”

16.3w: A routine scan

Went to my dr after the 16th week who had pronounced that he would see if the gender of the baby can be determined.  Thus we went along to the routine ultrasound scanner and the image of Zee sprang to life.

And that first image is of Zee waving to us!  Whee!  It gladdens my heart when I had seen it.  Soon after my gynae and I had enjoyed Zee waving to us, he said “Oh, this is a perfect position to get a picture of your child” and he had printed a copy of the image.  Too bad, Zee had stopped waving by then.

16.3W: The full side view of Zee

Then the gynae said that he would try to determine the gender.  He moved the ultrasound scanner to Zee’s pelvic area… and Zee turned.  So my gynae scurried with the scanner to the new location where his/her pelvic area is… and as my gynae zoomed into the pelvic area, Zee went and covered his/her private parts with his/her hands.  My gynae commented “It’s as if the bb knows we are looking for his/her private parts!”

Anyway, my gynae had guessed (although he was quick to caution that he did not have clear enough a view) that Zee’s gender is a girl!

Zee is currently about 12cm in CRL.

I’m so looking forward to the next scan 4 weeks later which will be detailed and which should most probably confirm the gender of my child!

Baby, I’m looking forward to seeing you again!

12.6 weeks: OSCAR Test (aka as First Trimester Screening (FTS))

My appointment at KKH started bright and early at 9a.m when we had arrived at the Antenatal Monitoring Centre (AMC).  We registered our presence and was soon ushered in to take the blood test.  4 vials of blood was taken from me for 3 standard blood tests (Hep B, Thess Minor and HIV) as well as the test for chrosomal abnormalities including Down’s Syndrome (tests for levels of HCG and PAPP-A).  I was afraid of pain so was looking away the whole time she was taking my blood.  I had also requested for a fine needle and not the huge one.

My DH was there too and a vial of blood was taken from him for the standard tests too.

Blood Cells pictures

After which, we proceeded to the Antenatal Diagnosis Centre (ADC) on the 2nd floor to go for the detailed screening where I was told to empty my bladder.  We were the fourth in line.  Soon after, we were called in.  After the cold gel is rubbed against the lower part of my abdomen, the ultrasound scanner was pressed against the lowermost left point of my abdomen and the beautiful image of Zee sprang up on screen to our great joy.

Unfortunately he/she was floating face down in his watery wonderland of the placenta which was not a good position for taking measurements.  The sonographer proceeded to take his/her size measurements: His/her length, the diameter of the head, it appears that these will be the baseline around which his other measurements could be measured so that an assessment of “high risk” or “low risk” could be attached to these figures.  He/She was 6.48cm in length - a little bigger than expected, which is a good thing for us who are hoping that he/she can be born by year 2011.  This brings our EDD forward by another 2 days, yay!   We are praying for an earlier EDD.

Cartoon of a baby at 12 weeks in womb

Zee had also grown by more than 4cm in the 4 weeks I had not seen my baby!  These advancements feel so tiny, but when compared to his/her initial frame of 2cm, it means Zee had more than tripled in length!

The sonographer then had the tough job of turning the baby around.  She asked me to cough, then turn me to my right side in a bid to get the baby to change position, then she pressed the middle part of my abdomen, away from Zee’s position, to try to agitate the baby to turn.  The baby turned to her desired position…. then turned back again.  Hee, Zee is toying with the increasingly impatient sonographer by turning somersaults in my tummy. 

Zee also began to wave her hands and feet agitatedly, my DH remarked that he/she must be distressed as we tried to disturb her normally tranquil habitat to encourage him/her into turning.  Deep in our hearts though, we feel great joy that Zee is able to move on his/her own volition.  We must be sadistic parents to take joy in our child’s distress… hee!

Then I begin to cajole him/her.  “My dear child, we know you are very disturbed inside.  We just need you to move into the right position so that the sonographer can do her job and take your measurements accurately.  Be a good baby!”

Then the sonographer indicated for me to turn to my right side and cough and when I had turned back, Zee is facing the right way!  Zee does listen to sense and reasoning. 

Week 12.6: Baby Zee with all the major features fully formed

 The sonographer then proceeded to take all the measurements required for the screening test.  First the thickness of the Nuchal Transclucency, which indicated on screen as 1.59mm for Zee, noted the presence of a nasal bone, then proceeded to measure the heartbeat (158bpm for Zee) and the joyous sound of his/her strong heart (like the sound of galloping horses) filled the room.  The sonographer also measured the rate of heart flow into Zee’s liver.  The graph that had popped out was too complex so I was not able to decipher the measurements.

After doing all the measurements, the sonographer then proceeded to call the MO into the room who explained to me the results.  Based only on the NT scan (which excluded the results from the blood tests as these require 48-72 hours for results), Zee had a smaller chance than people in my age group of having Trisomy 21 (Down’s Syndrome), Trisomy 18 and Trisomy 13.

The results are presented in this fashion: 1: (some number).  For pregnant women in my age group, the usual risks are 1:415.  This means that situations for women in my age group, every 415 babies born, there will be 1 baby who will have Down’s Syndrome.  Thus it is good if (some number) is high.  The HIGHER (some number) is, the LOWER the risk.  E.g if the results show as 1:1000.  It means for this person’s own individual pregnancy risks show that for every 1000 babies ( as opposed to the smaller but general number of 415 babies), 1 baby has Down’s Syndrome. 

My personal number was quite a bit higher than the usual number of 415 in my age group, so it means I stand at lower risk than other women of my same age group.  I was quite relieved when I have heard these results.

However, I would need to wait another 2-3 days in order to get the combined results from my blood tests!  Can’t wait!

Costs for all these test: First Trimester Screening Test ($321 + GST); Normal blood test ($82.80 + GST).  Expensive… but I love seeing Zee….

Update: The very next day (23rd June), KKH had sent me an SMS to tell me that based on their FTS results, I stand in LOW RISK of baby with Down Syndrome.  I heart their efficiency!  I also called the number they had provided in their SMS for my exact ratio and the number was quite alot higher.  I’m so glad!  My prayers are answered.

The Eternal Word/永恒的道

http://myagape.blogspot.com/2011/06/eternal-word.html

Timing and Conception

I’m no starry-eyed idealist and am sceptical about the state of our world and the mindset of humanity, it is a world where I don’t want my child to live in.  I guess that’s the reason why I had not been ready for children, although I’m aware of my DH’s desire to have at least one child.

Partly because of my DH’s desire, I had agreed to let nature takes its course from Dec 2010 and to continue to practice birth control from the middle of April.  I was hoping to avoid my child being born in the ultra competitive 2012 when the year of the dragon roars in! 

Year of the Dragon will probably push up our fertility rates!

It was a surprise when I had realised I was pregnant particularly since we’ve already started practising birth control by then.  It is a wonder how my yet-to-be born baby Zee is already exhibiting my characteristic of procrastination!  Keke.  He/she had barely met our deadline with an end of the year EDD.  Talk about meeting deadlines!

Speaking about timing, it was only in reading brochures that I had realised why everyone had emphasized the importance of having a child earlier rather than later.   The chances of a child born with Down’s Syndrome (DS) to a mother over the age of 40 is 1 in 68! (if I remember correctly)  And for some reason, it is more difficult for older aged mothers to bring their children to term with risks of miscarriages and anomalies.  Already, the statistics for my age group is double the risk of DS as compared to a mother-to-be (MTB) only 3 years younger.  So to some extent, I am very thankful that God had given us a child before we had started practising birth control again.  I couldn’t imagine the fear I’ll feel with the  increased risks should I wait another 2 years.

Of course this doesn’t mean that all will definitely be well for the younger mother.  Although the statistics is in favour of the younger mother, it doesn’t mean that the birth will be risk-free.  Still, sometimes it is a comfort when the statistics is in your favour.

The uncertainty of all these, with so many factors beyond my control, drive me to prayer.  Really, it can be daunting to understand how few factors are really within the mother’s control to bring the child to term.  Lack of information at the point of conception either in the egg, sperm or when this information is transferred during the point of impact will lead to a future miscarriage, food poisoning (are we really in control of the source of our food and its hygenic preparation?) and sometimes just unknown factors can lead to the fetus’ heart to stop beating.  And what of simply pure bad nature within the child that can lead to heartbreak of the parents sometime later down the road?  It is sometimes really pure arrogance for a mere person to assume that he/she is the sole master of his/her fate.

But my trust is in Him and He who holds my future.  It is prayers, as well as songs like these, that give me solace:

 

 

1st Trimester Symptoms

The most worrisome thing about being pregnant in the first trimester is that there are virtually no signs that indicate whether the baby inside is developing well or not.  We can’t feel the baby, we can’t hear the heartbeat without proper equipment etc.  So the only thing that kind of indicates that the baby is developing normally are these pesky 1st trimester symptoms.

I must say, that I’m quite lucky in this department.  Aside from fatigue, being perpetually hungry and a slight sense of nausea (and of course that worrisome spotting/light bleeding in my 6-7 week), I had skipped the worst of the pregnancy symptoms.  So I’m blessed in this sense.

Life born out of Pain and Discomfort

And interestingly enough, these pesky symptoms are the indications we can know that our baby’s doing fine… isn’t that ironic that our discomfort is the only way to learn of that little life’s well being?

I guess this is the way of life too, in most cases, when life gets too comfortable, it may be an indication to start wondering:

• Have I stopped learning and growing?
• Am I too blind to the states of people around me?
• Have I become too comfortable in my comfort zone?

And conversely, when we are put in a spot to rejoice:

• Yes, this is a moment for me to reflect upon and grow
• What can I do next time a similar thing happen to prevent similar results?

It’s interesting that through a process of discomfort we grow, and through the discomfort and pain of childbirth, a new life is born….

 

8.7 weeks: The Second Ultrasound Scan

Went to KKH, Clinic A, this time round for my second appointment.  Unlike private clinics, I have to travel to different departments to get different things done, ultrasound in the AEM Centre (can’t remember where it stands for), urine test, weight, height, blood pressure measurement from another room.  All in all, although the overall service was a tad impersonal and the ultrasound machine I was placed in was not equipped with a doppler device so I can hear the baby’s heartbeat (So sad! That’s the most reassuring sound a mother in her first trimester can hear!), but I am impressed by the many tests that they take care to do in order to have a full assessment.

So far so good, at least I have an EDD.  The baby has also grown to about 2 cm.  The baby has grown 4 times since 2 weeks ago!  But strange, how a 2 cm life can give me a very noticeable tummy, something I did not have before I was pregnant.  *sob sob*

The ultrasound image the therapist gave me is very blur and short of details.

Week 8.7: Baby's 2cm long

 I had however spied the ultrasound images that were given to the doctor, taken from many different angles and precise measurements were given!

I’m most probably going for (what I think is) an OSCAR test which will screen for Down’s Syndrome in about 4 weeks.  May be a good time for my hubby to come down too to see the baby as I think a super detailed scan will be done.

Price wise, total’s about the same as going to a private clinic, it was about $182.  Consultation: $86, ultrasound: $25, urine test: $4. The rest is medication and 7% GST applied to all the items above.

6.4 weeks: The First Ultrasound Scan and Heartbeat

I did not have a good experience at this clinic.  From the moment that the nurse had ascertained that this is my first visit to the clinic, she had gone all out to sell the gynae care package, she didn’t even stop when I had firmly responded that I would like to consult with the doctor first.  She stopped only after being told that “I’m experiencing bleeding, I want to make sure that this is a normal pregnancy first.”

The bill for this first visit was a total of $176.  $80 for consultation, $80 for ultrasound scan, and the remaining for the gynae-prescribed vitamins.

Another nurse did a weight and height measurement as well as a blood pressure test.  She had also inquired on whether my bladder was full.  It seems like for the first trimester, in order to have a clear visual display of my baby, we need to go for ultrasound with a full bladder!  Argh, I’d just emptied my bladder in the morning.  She quickly gave me 2 cups of water which I hurriedly drain.

The doctor had come into the clinic late although the operation hours of the clinic starts from 9:30a.m.  The nurse had quickly explained that it was due to his visiting a patient at the hospital.  I was the first to consult with the doctor for the day although there was already a queue of patients, all of whom already have an appointment with him.  (I wonder whether the fact that I’m not yet hostage through the package had anything to do with my being first.)

After being told of my symptoms and inquiring on my medical history, he had also gone on to inquire on my employment history.  I find that a little discomfiting, but no matter, I have a goal in being there.

He quickly brought me to the ultrasound machine.  And there, right there on the screen, snuggled safely in my womb, is the gestation sac with the hint of my baby right there.  It’s not ectopic!  I was relieved.

First ultrasound Image - 5-7 weeks

But what really moved me and my dear husband (DH) was when the doctor brought the doppler device near to my tummy and suddenly, clear as day, we hear the strong, rhythmic heartbeat ringing clear, at 116bpm.  Unmistakably, my invisible baby hidden within me…. is alive… 

I felt awed that within me, is a life, God’s creation, being knitted meticulously.  How miraculous is life, and the mother’s body in supporting that life!  May God make him wonderfully and keep him healthy and strong.

I will go for a 2nd checkup (probably with a different gynae) in 2 weeks time, to confirm my probable estimated due date (EDD) since the ultrasound scan was not clear as my bladder was not full and the doctor was only able to estimate the pregnancy progress as either 5-7 weeks.  Hee, I’m a surprised mother, I’ve never really kept track of my period dates or monitored my basal body temperature.  So, I’m leaving it up to technology to estimate my due date!

In the meantime, this visit made me recall this song that I really enjoy.  May you enjoy it too. 

6.4 weeks: Discovery

After days of nausea, bloatedness in my tummy, increased appetite and tenderness of my breasts, I took a pregnancy test thinking to remove its possibility, somewhat sure that I’m not pregnant.  Surprise of Surprises!

Big Fat Positive (BFP)!

However, I was also really worried, because of intermittent light bleeding and spotting.  In fact, I had 2 days of continuous, light bleeding in April which I had thought was my menses and I was thus convinced that I’m not pregnant.

These signs in light of the positive pregnancy made me worried.  Frightening thoughts ran through my head… Darn, I just had a Choya Umeshu with friends an hour ago!  Is this an ectopic pregnancy?  Signs of miscarriage (m/c)?  The more I read online, the more uncertain I feel and the more scared I am. 

Tomorrow, I will book an appointment with a gynae near my home.

Captivated by Love

http://myagape.blogspot.com/2010/04/captivated-by-love.html